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10,000-to-1
Payoff
by Albert Rosenfeld
Life Magazine,
September 29, 1967
Wall
Streeter's hunch opens a medical frontier
As
a complete layman with virtually no interest in medicine, he would have scoffed
at the notion that he would soon be spearheading a thrust into a new frontier
of medical research—or that he
would ever, under any circumstances, find himself addressing a distinguished
medical meeting. The odds against
such an eventuality would have seemed—well, preposterous. But that was five
years ago, before he acquired some unexpected insights through a disturbing
malady of his own. “I
was anywhere from a little depressed to quite deeply depressed most of the time,”
he recalls. “There was an ever-present feeling of fear which varied in intensity
during the day, and my mind was preoccupied with pessimistic and frequently
angry thoughts. I had minor discomforts—chronic pains in the neck area and mild
stomach upset. The happiest part of the day was the time when, with the help
of sleeping medicine, I was asleep. When I awoke in the morning I was at my
best. Usually around dusk, a little depressive cloud would descend on me and
my hands and feet would get extremely cold.”
The victim
seemed an improbable candidate for such dejection. He was Jack Dreyfus Jr.,
multi-millionaire founder of the Dreyfus
Fund and a man of diverse talents and widely recognized intellectual and
athletic capacities. There was nothing wrong with him that medical doctors could
find. Nor had any personal catastrophe befallen him. Yet he remained in this
depression which, though it did not incapacitate him, robbed life of all its
enjoyment. Particularly disturbing was his inability to think of any sensible
reason for his condition.
He was
given pills of all kinds—sleeping pills, tranquilizers, mood elevators, psychic
energizers. But they brought only intermittent relief. He tried psychotherapy,
but the more his psychotherapist probed, the more convinced Dreyfus became that
he was not plagued by any deep, long-buried Freudian fixations, but rather that
something physical, something awry in the chemistry of his body, was at the
root of his trouble. “I did not question that I was neurotic,” says Dreyfus,
“nor do I question it now, but this was not sufficient to explain to me the
things that happened.” One
of the things that happened regularly, for instance, was the compulsive triggering
of his thoughts—obsessive nonstop thoughts that did not really constitute thinking
in any useful sense, but simply went round and round uncontrollably—like a reverberating
electrical circuit.
The idea
that his nonstop thinking might be electrical in nature came to Dreyfus one
night after he had a strange dream. In the dream he felt himself to be somehow
electrically frozen into immobility. As soon as he awoke, he found himself wondering
why he had been so convinced, in the dream, that electricity
had been the cause of his paralysis. As he puzzled over it, several scattered
scraps of remembered experience came together. During his periods of depression
he had often noticed a tingling in his mouth like the feeling of a foot gone
to sleep, accompanied by a strange metallic taste, “a taste of how ozone smells.”
He always associated these sensations with a time in his childhood when he had
poked a finger into a live socket. Could the tingling, he now wondered, really
be an electrical sensation? Could the taste be the taste of electricity? At
the same time he recalled an incident that had occurred one day in his garage.
He had picked up a faulty vacuum cleaner, received a sharp jolt of electricity,
and said to his former wife, who was present at the time, “This damned thing
shocked me.” “It always
does that,” she said. Though
her reply was mild and her tone of voice gentle, Dreyfus remembers, with some
chagrin, that “I exploded with anger, smashed the vacuum cleaner, and shook
my former wife.” All these actions were quite uncharacteristic of Dreyfus. “Although
I was embarrassed at my loss of temper,” he admits, “I felt a warm, comfortable
feeling flow through me after this explosion.”
Explosion
was the word that had come to mind at the time. Now, after the dream, it seemed
to him that the explosion might have been electrical. Could there hive been
an excess of electricity in his body, with no way of being drained off until
the shock from the vacuum cleaner accidentally triggered the release? Could
excess electricity be causing his symptoms? Turning the idea over in his mind,
he remembered another occurrence—years earlier, during a bridge game. One of
the players had abruptly halted the game by brutally bawling out his partner.
The man being bawled out simmered for some time with what Dreyfus had interpreted
as suppressed anger, then suddenly exploded—in retrospect, that seemed the only
word to describe it—into an epileptic convulsion.
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